"Bad" Movies We Love Guest Post: Dale Lloyd

Dale Lloyd is a big-time VHS collector/appreciator, and can be found on Twitter under the handle @VivaVHS.

He has been actively collecting tapes since the age of 13, and would like to think that he has a decent understanding of both good and bad movies.

Check out his site also:

www.dalelloyd.com

 

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Here are my choices for 'bad' movies we love:

MAC AND ME (1988)

It would have been too easy for me to go with THE PIT, so instead i'm opting for a movie that appears in every bad movies list created by popular film magazines. So it's quite clearly capitalising on the success of E.T., and in places feels like a 90+ minute advertisement for McDonald's, but come on, this movie offers so much more. Again, like most movies on the list, this one holds a special place in my heart as a film I was practically raised on. I used to beg my parents to let me rip apart my huge teddy and let me wear it as a suit. Looking back, maybe they were worried i'd bring back memories of THE SHINING. Who knows. I adore this movie and watch it every few years with my wife, the very same wife that occasionally likes to join me in raising our hands and whistling 'that' tune, sometimes in public. Also, the dance scene in the middle of the movie is the stuff dreams are made of.
 

NOTHING BUT TROUBLE (1991)

I'm a John Candy completist, and so tracked this one down in the mid 90s. It was a £1.50 rental from my local store and I rented it monthly. So much so in fact that when the store eventually closed, they held a tape sale and this was one of only a few titles I purchased from them. It will never leave my collection. The cast is incredible and the film is a really fun watch, which makes it even harder to swallow that Aykroyd hasn't returned to the directors chair since. It features a death trap roller coaster called 'The Bonestripper', and a condiment train that will have you wandering why it never caught on. With contraptions like that, who needs a plot? And who can say that they didn't enjoy the rap scene? Damn, just writing this has made me want to revisit it again.

THE LAMP aka THE OUTING (1987)

My one true horror entry on the list. I first saw this movie with my friend when I was about 12 years old. He had this odd looking VHS tape that featured a lamp and some flashing lights on the cover (i've never tracked that exact tape down since). I couldn't remember much about it other than the museum tour that the school takes, the genie inside the lamp itself, and the fact that I enjoyed it immensely. I revisited the movie a few weeks back and i'm happy to report that it's still as great as the day I first saw it. The deaths are seriously creative. I won't spoil too much by saying a few people get attacked by venomous snakes, another by a rotating helmet with a built in vice and even one by fan blades. This is one hell of an underrated horror movie with plenty of gore and chills to please most.

HERCULES RETURNS (1993)

I find it odd that none of my friends ever speak about this comedy classic. I picked this up on VHS from a market because it was on the famous Tartan label, a label that could really do no wrong in the 90s. Featuring the usual eccentric performance from Brad (David Argue of RAZORBACK and BMX BANDITS fame), this is the story of newly funded cinema in Australia, that plans to open with a Italian adaptation of HERCULES. Sadly, the print isn't checked until opening night and it's found to be unsubtitled and of course, Italian. Brad and his friends quickly take it upon themselves to dub the entire movie with their own voices and sound effects. Admittedly, I haven't revisited this one in a while but I remember laughing the whole way through and loving every minute. There are some fantastic one-liners and i'd be very surprised if you didn't find yourself quoting it daily, at least for the first week after.

ONE WILD NIGHT aka CAREER OPPORTUNITIES (1991)

The film on the list that I have seen more times than any other. I first saw this movie in the mid 90s and it owned me from that moment on. I'm obsessed with movies set inside shopping malls or supermarkets. Films like; NIGHT OF THE COMET, CHOPPING MALL, INTRUDER and alike. So imagine my delight when the plot read that both Frank Whaley and Jennifer Connelly are locked inside for the night?! It's funny, sweet, charming, and features Jennifer Connelly straddling a rocking horse. If you haven't seen this movie, I dread to think what your comparing everything you watch to.

REMOTE CONTROL (1987)

A film about a videotape that once rented and watched, controls the viewer and makes them attack anyone near. The footage contained on the tape is a shockingly bad 50s B-movie, but has such a wonderful standee and box art, that it looks very appealing in the store. Video store clerk, Cosmo (Kevin Dillon), is armed with the task of attempting to stop the tape from breaking out and being distributed worldwide. It obviously appeals to me because it's mostly set inside a video store, but the plot is so damn stupid and fun that you can't help but get right behind it. If i'm still not selling it, allow me to mention the fact that Jennifer Tilly pops up, which is always nice.

No DVD release.

BABES IN TOYLAND (1986)

When I was about 6 years old, my parents occasionally left my Sister and I with a babysitter, a sitter that worked on weekends at a local video store. Her name escapes me but I always remember her renting and showing us the same two movies; THE NEW ADVENTURES OF PIPPI LONGSTOCKING and BABES IN TOYLAND. Now don't get me wrong, this movie is the only one on the list that I will go on record as saying it is atrocious, but it's also one that holds very good memories from my youth. It wasn't until recently that I remembered the name of it during a conversation with my Sister. I said "Remember that movie we used to watch as kid, and it started with a song and snowfall near some shops..." That was it. She cut me short and shouted "BABES IN TOYLAND!". It's a movie best left in the past but I adore it unconditionally for the memories it brings back. The plot? Think Takeshi's Castle meets ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

No DVD release but available on Netflix, I do believe.

There are far too many honourable mentions to list, but here are a few to give you a general idea of my tastes:

HAUNTED HONEYMOON ('86), ROLLER BOOGIE ('79), WATCHERS ('88), HEAVENLY BODIES ('84), BACHELOR PARTY ('84), TAPEHEADS ('88), STREET TRASH ('87), JINGLE ALL THE WAY ('96), STAY TUNED ('92), THE PIT ('81), SUPERSTITION ('82).