Rupert Pupkin Speaks: "Bad" Movies We Love Guest Post: Deb Martin ""

Saturday, June 16, 2012

"Bad" Movies We Love Guest Post: Deb Martin

Deb Martin is a lifelong film fan and former EatSleepLiveFilm writer. It this 'Bad Movies I Love' post from her that inspired me to kick off this series:

She has been kind enough to write a "part 2" to that post below. Enjoy!
(you can find Deb on Twitter, she is Cineaste77)
Deb is also part of the amazing team of gals who record the Girls On Film Radio Podcast:


This effervescent piece of pop culture candy with a delightful absence of cynicism stars Donnie and Marie Osmond, one of the reigning musical acts of the day. Not even getting caught up in an international jewel heist can keep these white-teethed kids down. As long Marie can bust Donnie’s chops, and Donnie has plenty of cute girls to hit on, all is right in their world. Also stars what the fellas of the Gentlemen’s Guide To Midnite Cinema termed “the longest telephone cord in the history of cinema.”

D.C. CAB (1983)
Directed by Joel Schumacher, it stars Mr.T, Adam Baldwin, Gary Busey and Max Gail. What more could you want in a movie? How about a story that celebrates the kind of grass-roots entrepreneurship that made Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney films great. Mr.T delivers a one-liner as well as he delivers a punch: swiftly and always a direct hit. Gary Busey plays a guy who acts crazy and says a lot of things that don’t make any damn sense.

THE TOY (1982)
This movie was (and maybe still is) controversial for its premise, Jackie Gleason “buys” Richard Pryor to entertain his son while the son is home from military school. However, the film is saying this is a bad thing. There’s a moral in there about racism, classism, and un-learning the prejudices we’re taught as children. Often too frenetic for its own good, during the calmer moments a really sweet friendship develops between Pryor and his charge, and in the end, love conquers over hate.

Another car themed movie, this one stars John Murray as he leads a ragtag group of citizens who have all had their vehicles impounded for one reason or another. The deputy and the judge are in cahoots to sell their rides and split the profit, so they all have to get their licenses unsuspended before they lose their cars. Mostly this movie amuses me because the characters have such low achieving goals: they have to pass the driving test before Sally Kellerman and James Keach sell their cars. Reach for the stars, gang!

Before he became the Jimmy Stewart of Our Generation, Tom Hanks was fighting for the rights of sex show donkeys to die of cocaine-induced heart attacks at bachelor parties. Hanks is in love with Debbie (Tawney Kitaen), but in true movie parent fashion, her father wants her to marry the rich boy who sees her as a status symbol rather than the poor boy who loves her. Debbie’s jealous ex sees the bachelor party as an opportunity to ruin their relationship, but come on. You cannot keep a pre-PHILADELPHIA Tom Hanks down, especially when best buddy Adrien Zmed has his back.

ORCA (1977)
Produced by the legendary Dino De Laurentiis, the movie follows a boat crew that pisses off an unimaginably intelligent killer whale by accidentally killing his mate. It’s a tour de force of “What the hell?” You’ll be amazed as the whale intuits intent, blame, guilt, and what fuel lines are for. He must also have some sort of aquatic White Pages, because he even knows where the captain of the ship lives. This movie will snap your suspension of disbelief cable in about ten minutes.

Time travel yarn in which Fred Ward is accidentally transported back to the 1800’s during a dirt bike race. His “machine” catches the eye of local baddie Peter Coyote, who realizes he could do even more evil deeds if he had it. If you’re a fan of bad guys played by Tracey Walters, past civilizations confused by modern technology, long, pointless scenes of people riding bikes in the desert, and movies where people end up being their own ancestors, this is the film for you.
Bonus: it was written, produced, and scored by Mike Nesmith.
*Watch TIMERIDER On Netflix!

Take one part NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, four parts GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN, a dash of horror and a whole lot of cheese, and you’ll have this tasty post-apocalyptic soufflĂ©. After the Earth passes through a comet’s tail, people lucky enough to have conveniently spent the night surrounded by metal wake up to discover most of humanity has disintegrated into piles of red dust. Those who weren’t rendered Hooverable have become zombie-like creatures. If you’re a scared teenage girl that means it’s the perfect time to play in the abandoned beauty section of the mall department store. Nothing takes your mind off of half-dead scientists trying to harvest your blood like a fashion montage and a young Robert Beltran to take you away in a sweet car.

SHATTER! (1974)
Produced jointly by Hammer Studios and the Shaw Brothers, this is not a horror film. It’s the story of a second-rate James Bond figure. Or the brother James Bond doesn’t like to talk about. Stuart Whitman was, unfortunately, ill during the filming of this movie and it shows. This is really Ti Lung’s film, as he does all the action sequences while Shatter merely stands and watches, and looks tired. Only the occasional presence of Peter Cushing reminds us that this is not strictly a Shaw Brothers film, because it definitely feels more Hong Kong than British. Special kudos to the overenthusiastic theme music singers, who scream out “SHATTER-ATTER-ATTER” as if they were being poked in the ass with a hot sword. Lung has some truly badass fight scenes that make this movie a must-see for fans of the martial arts genre. 


Robert M. Lindsey said...

Hey! I see you have Zorro the Gay Blade on your other list! My wife and I have seen that movie 100 times! It was one of the first we bought when we got a VCR in 1993 or so.

I've been thinking some about what my list would be. Here's what I've got so far:

Zorro the Gay Blade
Doc Savage: Man of Bronze (True story, I bought this on VHS for $20 off eBay 10 days before Warner released it on the DVD special order thing they do now)

Walk Proud with New York Jew Robbie Benson as an LA Chicano gang member.

Die Laughing - Also Robbie Benson. Haven't seen this one in ages, but I really loved it in the 80s when I saw it.

Into the Night is a John Landis film and lots of people seem to hate it, but it's one of my all-time favorites.

Damocles66 said...

This would be a better world, if only there were more Orca love
(and double that for Tentacles!)

Rupert Pupkin said...

Robert- I love INTO THE NIGHT with a passion! Cool List!

Damocles-I couldn't agree more(on both counts)!!