Rupert Pupkin Speaks: "Bad" Movies We Love Guest Post: Marty McKee ""

Monday, June 18, 2012

"Bad" Movies We Love Guest Post: Marty McKee

  I have found many interesting films because of Marty Mckee. His is, I daresay, a 'master' of schlock cinema. See his list of some "Bad" Movie favorites below! 
Also check out his wonderful blog and informative Twitter feed!



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THE STABILIZER (1984)—Directed by Arizal. Stars Peter O'Brien, Craig Gavin, Gillie Beanz, Dana Christina. One of the wildest, loopiest, most insane and hilarious action movies ever made, this Indonesian riot is packed with eye-blasting fashions, shootouts, kung fu fights, exploding cars, bloody squibs, dangerous stunts, and some of the funniest Ed-Woodian dialogue ever recited by dull voice dubbers.


WHEELS OF FIRE (1984) —Directed by Cirio H. Santiago. Stars Gary Watkins, Laura Banks, Lynda Wiesmeier, Joe Mari Avellana, Linda Grovenor. Gotta have a Cirio Santiago joint on a list like this. This ROAD WARRIOR ripoff is great fun, certainly not dull, and most memorable for shots of top-heavy Playmate Lynda Wiesmeier strapped topless to the hood of a car and driven across the desert. Practically wall-to-wall chases, fights, and shootouts in Santiago’s trademark desert.


STARCRASH (1979)—Directed by Luigi Cozzi. Stars Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, Christopher Plummer, Joe Spinell, David Hasselhoff, Robert Tessier, Judd Hamilton, Nadia Cassini. STARCRASH is a very difficult film to criticize. Not because it doesn’t have way more than its fair share of faults, strictly speaking, but because it’s so lighthearted and spirited and bright and fun, you’d have to be a real crab to toss brickbats at it. It has swashbuckling robots, exploding spaceships, monstrous golems, Marjoe Gortner’s towering perm, the great Christopher Plummer (THE SOUND OF MUSIC) as the “Emperor of the Universe,” and, last but certainly not least, the fetching Caroline Munro in all her pulchritudinous splendor. I daresay that, warts and all, STARCRASH is as close to perfect science fiction entertainment as you can find.


STRIKE COMMANDO (1987)—Directed by Bruno Mattei. Stars Reb Brown, Christopher Connelly. This Italian-made action flick about the Vietnam War manages to copy RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II almost scene-for-scene, but hilariously mucks it up. Reb Brown's dialogue ranges from "Bwahhhhhh!" to "Auuuuuughhhh!" and director Bruno Mattei's ridiculous action scenes consist of Brown shooting a huge gun—not necessarily at anyone, just shooting it—and Viet Cong falling down or miniature buildings blowing up. STRIKE COMMANDO might be even more cartoonish than RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II, if that's possible.


THE CAPE CANAVERAL MONSTERS (1960)—Directed by Phil Tucker. Stars Scott Peters, Linda Connell, Katherine Victor, Jason Johnson, Chuck Howard, Billy Greene. Likely the only movie in which invasion plans of aliens from outer space are repelled using a wristwatch, litmus paper, pig Latin, and those plastic inserts inside wallets that hold photographs. Never reaches the hysterical heights of Tucker’s earlier film—the bad-movie classic ROBOT MONSTER—but the inept plotting, dialogue, score, and acting will still leave audiences melting in tears of laughter.


SAMURAI COP (1991)—Directed by Amir Shervan. Stars Robert Z'Dar, Matt Hannon, Mark Frazer. “I bring you his head, and I will place it on your piano.” As quotable a bad movie as anything Ed Wood penned. So inept, it may just make you cry tears of joy. Not only do basics like story logic, characterization, and visual style go completely out the window, but also, oh, minor attributes such as establishing shots, sound effects, and continuity. SAMURAI COP is startling in its awfulness, failing to reach a level of competency in any department. An absolute must-see for bad-movie fans who think they've seen it all.


DAY OF THE NIGHTMARE (1965)—Directed by John A. Bushelman. Stars John Ireland, Cliff Fields, Beverly Bain, John Hart. A lurid black-and-white melodrama with nudity, a central gimmick swiped from HOMICIDAL, and a hilarious swinger party. Pretty damn entertaining, including the “twist” you’ll see coming an hour away. Cliff Fields and former Lone Ranger John Hart as his father garner laughs playing an estrangement scene that comes across more as lovers than a father and son, not to mention the wild miscasting that will have you wondering how a 50-year-old man could have a 40-year-old son. “It’s finished!”


THE MAD BOMBER (1973)—Directed by Bert I. Gordon. Stars Vince Edwards, Chuck Connors, Neville Brand. Chuck Connors is incredible in this hilarious crime drama as an uptight cat with wire-frame glasses who blows stuff up real good. A sleazy gem with nudity, hilarious dialogue, and gore, including a stomach-churning burn victim, THE MAD BOMBER also stars Vince Edwards as cinema’s most unlikable cop and Neville Brand getting blown up while masturbating to his wife’s 8mm porn loops.

3 comments:

SteveQ said...

Now THAT's a list! A couple of those I haven't seen and the rest I haven't seen in 20 years or more. I'll have to watch "Samurai Cop" with "Sgt. Kabukiman, SFPD."

Rupert Pupkin said...

Yes indeed Steve, you need to see SAMURAI COP as soon as humanly possible..

Thomas Duke said...

Don't forget Hollywood Cop, the follow up to Samurai Cop (although not a direct sequel). Not as insane or ridiculous as Samurai, but still 90 minutes of action trash gold.