Brad Henderson is a VHS collector and he makes a great case for all of us continuing to do so in his list below. Follow him on twitter @bradfhenderson.
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Top 20 Awesomely Bad Movies
What
is a bad movie? Twilight? Clash Of The Titans? How To Lose A Guy In 10
Days? All these films get a bad wrap but I wouldn't consider them bad. I
would simply say "I do not like these films at all." A bad movie is
something that you can not sit still through, no shape or form.
Something so boring that you are restless and makes you sweat. Think
about these things...not even Battlefield Earth is like that...ok, maybe
Battlefield Earth is like that a little bit. There are not too many
films that could do that to a person, the film might be boring but is it
dreadful? How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days is bad but was I aching for it
be over and couldn't wait to get out of the theatre? (insert laugh here)
No, I say that, but in reality that isn't the case at all. I simply
disliked the film. The films that you are about to see below are films
that bombed, are considered terrible, or films that no one watched...at
all. Just because it has a low rating on IMDb or even a high rating,
doesn't mean the film is good nor bad. You, as a viewer, have the right
to judge that for yourself. These films are treasures and I pray every
single day that these beautiful pieces of art will not be forgotten. The
people that made these films more than likely put their heart and soul
into these projects. The outcome might have been expected or they
thought they would be the next big thing. I'm not sure. I do know that
these films are the purest form of entertainment, and more entertaining
than any other "big budget" film out there. I'm not going to sit here
and try to justify any of these films at all but I do plead that you go
in with an open mind and watch them as they were intended. To entertain
you. Just because it doesn't have Tom Cruise or the next big star
doesn't mean you have to pass it up at the video store or Netflix. Just
because your "movie" friends talk about it at work doesn't mean that
those are the only films there that you have to watch. Do me a favor, go
out, venture and pick a film that you have never heard of. Go on
Netflix and pick something that has 1 star. Experiment. Quit being a
robot. I'm not saying just watch these film on this blog and only these
films that you should watch. These films listed below are simply
"Gateway Films". I live for film and I love watching films that NO ONE
has ever said a word about. Yes, I do watch what people tell me too but I
watch a lot of films on my own that I have discovered. More films like
these "bad" movies need to be brought to our attention and need to be
seen. So, what is a "bad" movie? A film that might be shunned by the
general public but it is monumental explosion for our eyes. A film that
we tell our geek friends to watch and they spread the word because they
think it is as great as you did. A film that has so many great moments
that put a smile on your face. That is a "bad" movie. Or...a "great"
movie.
I
can quote this film to no end and I at least quote it once a day. "Do
you guys serve beer in here, or just milk?" The film is wacky, silly,
stupid, and doesn't make any sense at all. Lady Terminator
just reenacts shots from Terminator and has eel fucking, if that doesn't
turn you on I don't know what else would. I've hosted a Movie Night for
my friends for the past 3 years or so, and I had an Awesomely Bad Movie
Night theme one night. I screened Neon Maniacs and Lady Terminator.
Still to this day I get shit for it, but out of the hundreds of films I
have screened this is the film they speak about most...not in a good
way, but they still talk about it. I simply have said that is what this
film was supposed to do. Boom. "Tub, my buddy." You will understand that
last quote after viewing the film.
There
are twelve reasons to love this film: Ape, Decapitator, Axe, Solider,
Biker, Mohawk, Archer, Hangman, Juice, Samurai, Slasher, and Doc. That
is all.
I
love the Apocalypse genre and I love Raiders Of Atlantis. My good VHS
buddy (@VivaVHS) from across the sea loosely recommended this film to
me. This film starts out a little slow but it gets so good in a matter
of minutes. The best way to sum this film up is that The Road Warrior
meets crack...a lot of crack. I recommend this film to anybody that is a
fan of Italian Exploitation/Trash/Apocalyptic films and anyone that
loves bad dubbing. I could get into the whole thing of why these things
are dubbed the way they are but I don't want to get into that. This film
is bigger than it's budget but worth it all the way.
It
is hard to say this is even close to being "bad" but this falls in line
with everything else. This film is very close to hitting my top 100 of
all-time. Mark Dacascos, Kadeem Hardison, and Brittany Murphy star in
the kick-ass action fest with some of the best choreography I've ever
witnessed. The fight scenes and stunts in this film look and feel so
real, by that I mean it looks like they are really going at it and not
holding back on hitting each other. Every time I view this film my eyes
are focused entirely on the fight choreography and it gets better every
viewing.
Ray
Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr.
Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker
Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. Ray
Parker Jr.
Enemy Territory is excellent. A man gets trapped in a apartment complex with a gang inside trying to kill him and they are called...The Vampires. No, this isn't a horror film but it does have many horror qualities but it is completely an action film. After you view it and you want to speak about the horror aspect I would be more than happy to but as of now I don't want to give anything away.
Enemy Territory is excellent. A man gets trapped in a apartment complex with a gang inside trying to kill him and they are called...The Vampires. No, this isn't a horror film but it does have many horror qualities but it is completely an action film. After you view it and you want to speak about the horror aspect I would be more than happy to but as of now I don't want to give anything away.
I
first heard about this film through my good buddy @VHSistheTruth and he
couldn't prepare me for what I watched. I can't even prepare you and
I'm not even going to attempt it. I'll start by saying that this film is
speifically for "bad" movie lovers only. The only people that I know
that LOVE this film are people like me and live for films like this one.
Science Crazed was probably filmed on a ten dollar budget on a weekend
at the filmmakers apartment complex. I love this film dearly and there
is nothing else like it. Nothing.
I'll let Bone Crusher take this one...
Rock
'N' Roll and horror films go together so well. This is the second Rock
'N' Roll horror film on my list and it is better than Blood Tracks. I
really don't want to give anything away with this film but I can tell
you this is loved by thousands. Killer OST, bad acting, terrible special
effects, and the best hero character a screenwriter can fathom. Best.
Movie. Ever. Also, the best ending as well.
Burial
Ground is a film that will fuck you in the most uncomfortable position
possible. I tell everyone that likes zombie films about this one,
because it is one of the first zombie films I saw as a child. I went on a
zombie kick (don't we all) after seeing Dawn Of The Dead when I was
younger and I purchased every zombie film I could find. I was zombified.
I viewed titles like Messiah Of Evil, Gates Of Hell, City Of The Living
Dead, Oasis Of The Zombies, Zombi 2,3,4, and 5, Zombi, The Dead Hate
The Living, Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, and many others.
None of those films even compared to Burial Ground. Probably the
weirdest story, along with an incestual child and some of the worst
zombie makeup you will ever see. Don't let that detour you from watching
this film though because you will make a mistake. If I don't have you
hooked yet? How about this: Tit Eating...not the type of bird either.
"Garbage
Day!" and "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Those two things pretty much sum up this
movie. In all actuality the sequel itself (not including flashbacks) is
only 30 minutes or so, mostly all the footage in the first film is
replayed over again. This film is a blast with a crowd because you
really don't need to pay attention that often and it really doesn't get
serious till the end. However, when Ricky has his "breakdown", it is
probably the greatest moment in the 80's.
Howling
III is...um...ugh. The Howling III is a... The Howling III is better
than the seq...fuck it, just watch the bad ass trailer.
People
often ask me "why do you collect VHS?" I answer in the calmest and most
un-elitist way possible "you don't know anything do you?" If I didn't
collect VHS and watch shitty films I'm not sure I would be who I am
today and have the relationships with others as I do now.
@ReelDistraction, @BTSjunkie, @VivaVHS, VHSistheTruth, @bobfreelander,
@noahphex and many others feel the same way I do about these films and
the format itself. Robot Ninja is a film that will probably never see
Blu-ray or DVD and will be lost along with many others in years to come.
Hopefully with me and the people mentioned above we can keep these
films alive and spread the word and films to others like us. Robot Ninja
is a wonderful awesomely "bad" film. What do people like more that
robots and cyborgs? Ninjas. Boom! You now have both in one movie. Robot
Ninja is a story of a comic book artist that is turned into a superhero
that he created in order go after a gang of rapists and bad dudes. You
might be thinking it is a side story of Lord Zedd from The Power Rangers
by the cover but you are wrong and it is better than that. Did I
mention the kick-ass theme song?
Let
me start by saying Slumber Party Massacre is one of my favorite
slashers of all-time. Slumber Party Massacre 2 however, is one of my
favorite awesomely "bad" films of all-time. The series itself is
fantastic and should be watched by all. Slumber Party Massacre 2 stands
out simply because it is so freaking bizarre. The killer has a drill on
the end of his guitar...how is that not the best idea ever. The fact
that these films are directed by women (nothing wrong with that) baffles
me as well but I guess that is what these films needed, a woman's
touch. Slumber Party Massacre 2 is full of music, dance numbers, the
best dialogue, amazing dream sequences, and one of my favorite
characters...T.J. Just listening to T.J.'s ideas and one-liners is the
movie itself. A while ago I hosted a Movie Night and I screened the
first film and I didn't screen the second because I was afraid my
friends would never come over again. I was wrong. They loved it and
laughed their asses off and I can promise you will do the same.
Psycho
Cop is pure solid gold. This film is the outline for awesomely "bad"
movies and one of my favorites. The film itself is loaded with bad
acting and probably the best one-liners ever in the history of cinema.
First of all, this film feels like it is written and directed by
children that were obsessed with Maniac Cop but didn't have a budget to
make a replica. The actor that plays Psycho Cop aka Joe Vickers is
Robert Shafer. If you watch The Office you will recognize him as Bob
Vance from Vance Refrigeration. He is even more hilarious in this and
I'm very surprised this film isn't bigger and more popular that it is
because this is what we live for. "You have the right to remain...dead!"
Yes, that is one of the lines from the film along with many others.
I
like to recommend this film to everyone after discussing "bad" films. I
viewed this film recently and I was completely worn out by it. Not in a
good way. This film steals scenes from Alien about every 10 minutes and
the story changes a total of 3 times. 3. I still don't understand it
and it makes me yawn constantly. I know I'm not really talking you into
watching it but trust me with the right crowd this film can be amazing.
Whatever you conjure up in your head what the "alien" or the story is
going to be I can simply tell you, you will be wrong. Also the "alien"
in this poster has to be from something else because if the "alien"
looked like this...I must of missed something.
When
I was 15 and just started during my summer break, I bought box lots of
VHS off of eBay for very low prices. I must of gotten over 500 VHS tapes
that summer and still to this day it was the best summer I've ever had.
I viewed so many films and ate so many Bagel Bites and Pizza Rolls that
could make anyone sick. During that summer I stumbled across this
masterpiece. The Pit. I still can not get over this film to this day and
I know others love it as well. It is hard saying that these films are
"bad" because they mean so much to us film geeks they might as well rank
up there with Casablanca or The Godfather. The film itself is a little
on the slow side but it is extremely sinister in many ways. I still
can't get over that this film had the content that it did and actually
got released. There is so much to be told by simply looking at the
poster and wondering what the hell is this film about. Go into the film
not knowing anything and make sure the kids are in bed.
I
love Swedish horror flicks. I love old Swedish horror even more. Blood
Tracks is widely disliked and still to this day I'm not sure why. It is
simply The Hills Have Eyes in the snow and with killer...I mean killer
fucking music. I had to post one of the songs at the bottom for you to
view so you can get pumped up. Blood Tracks is simply a metal band gets
stuck in the snow with cannibals on the loose and "terror on the slopes"
begin. I have the clamshell VHS of this and I will never give it up and
I'll watch it when I'm down.
One
of the best Sex Comedies of All-Time! Others might disagree but to me
that is was so much fun. I think about my first viewing of this
film earlier this year and still cannot get enough. There are so many
great moments and dance numbers it will give you goosebumps. Just watch
the link below if you want to get a taste of what this flick is like and
make your own decision to watch it. Trust me, it will not disappoint.
What
happens when you want to make an action film with Chuck Norris, Steve
McQueen, and Patrick Swayze but none of them want to do it? You hire
their family members! Death Ring is simply a rendition of The Most
Dangerous Game story but with amazing acting and a gripping
story...ah...wait...I was thinking of the old film from the 30's. Did I
mention Billy Drago was in this? Billy "The Man" Drago! If you love
corny action films Death Ring is for you and is even better if you watch
it with a crowd. In all seriousness you are not even reading this
because you keep on glancing over at the poster. Ill just stop right now
and tell you it is better than the poster.
I
remember when I was little on Thursday on the USA channel 32 they would
play a horror film in the afternoon a few hours before Joe Bob Briggs
"Monster Vision" would air. I would watch USA religiously because they
would play films like this. When I first saw this creepy crawler flick I
was hooked immediately. This is one of those films that is extremely
serious when we are little but when we grow up we wonder why we were
so fascinated by these films. Even though we make fun of the people that
like movies like Twilight or whatever new chick flick it out there, we
might want to remind ourselves of flicks like these. If word got out we
are obsessed with films like Kingdom Of Spiders or Ticks...hell even
Skeeter! We actually might loose our reputation and people might not
listen to us! Bottom line these films are fun and what we live for.
Ticks has the suspense, the cheese, the Seth Green, and awesome
(terrible) special effects. One of the better Bug Invasion films that
never gets old.
Posts
4 comments:
I was trying to make my own list of favorites and couldn't believe how many I'd seen. I posted the list of 55 starting with the letter A - only 4 making the first cut: http://stevequick.blogspot.com/2012/07/bad-movie-compendium-as-only.html
Maybe another try at a movie blog is in the offing for me.
Hell yeah, Robot Ninja. Would love to see Bookwalter be able to get that onto DVD. Until then, the whole thing is available on youtube if you do some minor searching. Moe and I were so enamored with it, we devoted a whole podcast to the thing. Just a fun, prescient film.
This is an amazing list. I agree with the ones there that I've seen, and need to track down the ones I haven't.
Yeah it's really quite the epic list of "bad" stuff indeed. Love a lot of these, and several I need to see!
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