Will Pfeifer has written a DVD column for the Rockford Register Star since 1994 (back when it was
a videotape column), he's also written for several comic book series, including Catwoman,
Aquaman and H.E.R.O, and can be found at xrayspex.blogspot.com or on twitter
at @willpfeifer.
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The Brain
That Wouldn’t Die (1962) This one gets a lot of bad movie love for its
memorable central image of a woman’s head nagging our hero from a pan on a
table, but I love “Brain” for a short sequence that comes in the middle of the
movie: The scientist goes looking for a body for his decapitated wife, haunting
lowlife bars and camera clubs, evaluating floozies based on both their
shapeliness and suitable neck size. It plays like either the sleaziest noir
never filmed or the prologue to a black-and-white snuff film. Either way, it’s
much more effective than it has any right to be.
Plan 9 from
Outer Space (1959) Well, of course. But the thing is, despite its questionable
quality, I don’t think of “Plan 9” as a “bad” movie. To me, it’s a piece of
cinematic folk art – crude, even laughable, but definitely the creation of
someone who had a vision he wanted to get onscreen no matter what methods – old
footage of his dead friend, cardboard graves, stock footage – he had to resort
to. I’m not arguing Ed Wood was talented, but his movies are more interesting to
me than most movies made by talented folks. It’s the personal stamp that makes
it special.
Private
School (1983) The movie that defines the phrase “1980s teen sex comedy” to me.
It has all the elements of the genre, thrown together with little grace but lots
of enthusiasm. Fat guy falling out of the window? Check! Lewdly named masculine
female authority figure? Miss Dutchbok – check! Car in the swimming pool? Check!
Emmanuelle herself, Sylvia Kristel? Check! Phoebe Cates naked? No, but co-star
Betsy Russell makes up for her reluctance to disrobe. And, as a bonus,
choreography by Paula Abdul – really!
Chained
Heat (1983) There are a lot of wild women-in-prison movies, but this crazed
effort is my favorite, mostly because it’s the only one I actually saw in the
theater – twice. Plus, the hot tub in warden John Vernon’s office is one of the
greatest, sleaziest, most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.
Vanilla Sky
(2001) I honestly don’t know what I think of this movie. When I saw it in the
theater, I thought it was laughably self-indulgent. I still feel that way, but
every time I watch it – and I find myself watching it once a year or so – I have
a great time. In between all the inane dialogue, histrionic performances and
yuppie flattery, there are some great sequences – the empty Times Square, for
one – and a story that somehow works despite all its faults. So help me, I think
it’s somehow snuck onto the list of my favorite movies. How the heck did that
happen?
Confessions
of a Psycho Cat (1968) The weirdest variation on the old “Most Dangerous Game”
story you’re likely to see. A crazy woman offers three guys – one of the Raging
Bull himself Jake LaMotta -- $100,000 if they can stay alive, then hunts them
down on the streets of Manhattan. The fact that long sequences of a
nudity-packed pot party were added years after the fact only adds to the oddball
fun.
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