Rupert Pupkin Speaks: "Bad" Movies We Love Guest Post: Jenni Lee ""

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

"Bad" Movies We Love Guest Post: Jenni Lee

Jenni Lee (jenni7283 on Twitter) is an art historian, graphic designer, project manager, and lover of film from Austin. She especially loves musicals and horror movies. Her current film project is watching all of Frank Sinatra’s movies in 2012. She’s also a tallyteer, you can follow her schizophrenic movie watching at


Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives (Israel Luna, Video 2010)
The title alone captures the imagination. Boys like and thinks girls are girls, finds out the girls are boys, commits a hate crimes against the girls. Trannies take revenge with knives. The premise seems bad, the budget is non-existent, but it’s made up for once you get to the epic part of the movie that is its ending. It’s totally worth a look on Netflix Instant.

Spice World (Bob Spiers, 1997)
So much girl power that you could vomit. Once my husband and I rented “Spice World.” The video clerk questioned whether we really wanted to rent this glorious piece of Britain's history. Posh (not the only Beckham on this list), Baby, Ginger, Sporty, and the aptly named, Scary Spice changed lives and begged us to ask “Tell me what you want? Whatcha really, really want.?” I want another roadtrip musical!

Just My Luck  (Donald Petrie, 2006)
Lindsay Lohan, Chris Pine, and the British rock band McFly star in the worst “body-switch” romantic comedy ever, but in the best possible way. Lohan has all the luck in the world until she kisses the unluckiest man in the world (Pine). Their paths cross repeatedly when Lohan’s luck is transferred to Pine he teaches her how to deal with being so unlucky. This is one of Lohan’s best roles as it shows off her sight-gag chops leaving Pine in the dust. It’s okay Chris, just sit there and look pretty. We don’t mind.

The Craft (Andrew Fleming, 1996)
Aaaaah Catholic school girls gone wild, but with witchcraft. “The Craft” is about a group of ragtag outcast high school girls who are fighting their way through the disappointments of teenagedom through witchcraft. Eventually they turn on each other and find out who has the real power in the group, but not before using powers that they don’t understand. It is the original “Mean Girls” (Mark Waters, 2004), but with Catholic schoolgirl uniforms and witchcraft.

Don’t Panic (Rubén Galindo Jr, 1989)
“Don’t Panic” is a Mexican film dubbed in English written and directed by Rubén Galindo Jr. It is  a story about Michael (Jon Michael Bischof), a teenager who is celebrating his 17th birthday with his friends, when his best friend, Tony (Juan Ignacio Aranda), introduces an Ouija Board to the group. One of the teens is accidentally possessed by a killer spirit named Virgil. Michael is connected psychically with Virgil and is able to see what he is seeing during his murder spree.
This movie features a spectacular uni-brow, very large hair, 30 year olds playing teenagers, an alcoholic mother, an absent father, friends who are dicks, and so much more. The combination of these elements make every scene in this film the most awkward I’ve ever seen in a movie. It is just that awkwardness that leaves you anticipating more which makes the movie so hypnotizing you can’t look away.

Goal II: Living the Dream (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2007)
You’ve made it to the second Beckham on the list. David Beckham is one of the stars in this movie, playing himself on the football team Real Madrid. He really shouldn’t talk on camera, luckily he is just one of the names used to get people to watch this movie, but he does have some speaking lines. The real story here is Becker (Santiago Muñez) finally realizing his dream and watching all of it crumble right before his eyes as he navigates football stardom.

The Cutting Edge 2: Going For The Gold (Sean McNamara, 2006)
The great underdog story! Jackie Dorsey (Christy Romano) is the child of Olympic gold medalists and she has a dream of her own, but after facing a career ending injury she needs a new ice skating partner. Enter Alex Harrison (Ross Thomas) a surfer and inline skater looking to find a new career in the ice rink.

New Kids Turbo (Steffen Haars, Flip Van der Kuil, 2010) & New Kids Nitro (Steffen Haars, Flip Van der Kuil, 2011)
Grab some friends and watch a double feature of “New Kids Turbo” and “New Kids Nitro.” New Kids is an SNL like skit television show from the Netherlands. But if you are expecting SNL you would be horribly wrong. They have off the wall recurring jokes that no one would ever get away with in America. Raunchy, lewd, and completely off the rails from start to finish. “New Kids Turbo” played Fantastic Fest 2011 to uncontrollable laughter.

Manborg (Steven Kostanski, 2011)
Is he a man? Is he a cyborg? No, he’s a Manborg!  “Manborg” has a man turned into a cyborg (of course), rejected demon suitors, and a dystopian future brought to you by hell. It’s pretty much the best thing to happen to bad movie fans since "Schlock" (John Landis, 1973). The 60 minute run time had me wanting more or to watch it again immediately. It has made such an impact on Austin genre film fans that we still, a year later, use the word “shenanigrams” in everyday conversations. This Canadian gem also played Fantastic Fest 2011.

The Covenant (2006)
Renny Harlin, are you for real? Without hesitation or doubt this is probably my favorite bad movie. The off the charts ridiculousness of the supernatural storyline mixed the the mediocre acting of Steven Strait, Sebastian Stan, Taylor Kitsch, and Chace Crawford makes “The Covenant” entertaining. Bonus! There is an extra on the DVD where Renny Harlin is interviewed and responds to questions as if the movie he made was the most serious film ever made; which makes him completely batshit. This is a go to movie when when you are feeling down or you are at home sick.

Other Bad Movies That Totally Rule The School

 Daughters of Satan (1972): Stars Tom Selleck as an art historian who buys a painting of witches being burned at the stake. One of the witches bears a remarkable resemblance to his wife.

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977): A killer bed that devours its sleepy visitors.

R.O.T.O.R. (1988): A complete ripoff of “RoboCop” (1987) that was shot in Dallas, Texas.

Bloodsport (1988): Jean-Claude Van Damme fights in an underground international martial arts competition.

Above the Law (1988): Steven Seagal and Pam Grier star in a high action crime drama.

Mystics in Bali (1989): Indonesian horror film about a woman doing research on black magic for a book. When she meets a witch that promises to teach her about black magic, she is transformed into something sinister.

Science Crazed (Video 1991): Canada strikes again! This is a must see and it is best if you don’t know anything about it before watching.

BASEketball (1998): When two best friends create the new national pastime of BASEketball, a hybrid of baseball and basketball, they learn the ins and outs of the greedy businessmen.

You Got Served (2004): Friends enter a city dance battle to get the cash they need to open a recording studio. This makes complete sense.

Piranha 3D (2010): An earthquake unleashes a school of prehistoric piranha on spring breakers on Lake Havasu.


SteveQ said...

I see a couple of my guilty pleasures here - so I'm guessing your friends don't let you choose what movie to see, either!

72 'bad' movie posts so far!

jenerator said...

We all pretty much have equal choices in movies. A lot of my friends posted lists on here too. Noah Lee (husband), Dshanya Reece, Brian Kelley, Josh Johnson, Damon Swindall, Jay Hawkinson, and Brian Salisbury are just a few.

Rupert Pupkin said...

wow, 72! Just a few more and I'll close this series out. How epic it has become!

SteveQ said...

Rupert, before you do, I have a clever idea for a final post in the series. I'm not going to create a Twitter account just for it, so drop me a note at quick (DOT) steven (big ol' at sign) hotmail ('nother DOT) com and I'll send it to you.