Movie junkie Maxim Pozderac works at Austin, Texas’ VulcanVideo. He is currently part of the team working on Fantastic Feud for Fantastic
Fest. His Twitter handle is @Accordion27. His favorite movie is UHF.
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Though I’m certainly not the most qualified person to talk
about it, I’m intrigued with the recent form of New Sincerity that basically advocates
moving past ironically enjoying garbage pop culture and to instead embrace and
celebrate those awkward bits of media you genuinely adore. While many cinephiles
can jump to defend flawed films that were rejected by the masses, it’s
sometimes easier to proclaim your love of a bomb like Hudson Hawk than to stand up and say you actually like a turkey
like Color of Night. While there are
plenty of flawed films I wish were better, I fully embrace the faults of the
titles below. If you’ve got the time, we should watch them together.
“This Ain’t No Game”
The best way to watch this film is to forget everything you
know about the video games and just go with what’s onscreen. Italian plumbers
Mario Mario and Luigi Mario [English actor Bob Hoskins and Columbian comedian
John Leguizamo] are transported to a parallel dimension where humans evolved
from dinosaurs and must stop the evil Koopa [Dennis Hopper] from merging his
world with ours and conquering the Earth by de-evolving humans. If they gave
all the characters different names and tried to pass the film off as an
original work, no one ever would ever think the two properties were related.
The production design on this film is fantastic. The ultra-violent (for a PG
movie), fungus-infected world of Dinohattan is so full of details that I still
notice new stuff each time I watch it. Every citizen seems armed with a cattle
prod or flamethrower, cameras and telephones look like guns, otherwise
comfortable chairs are covered with spikes, and the electric cars (since there
aren’t any fossil fuels) that citizens drive are constantly crashing into each
other since there aren’t any traffic lights. While the computer effects are
what you’d expect for an early ‘90s film, I say that Yoshi looks as good as
anything in Jurassic Park, which hit
theaters two weeks later in ‘93. In addition to wanting a sequel that would
have set Daisy and the brothers against a mercenary Mario doppelgänger named
Wario, I wish the film had led to the creation of a “Super Mario Bros.: The
Movie” SNES video game that would confuse and disappoint kids for generations.
(also, go here ----> http://www.smbmovie.com/)
(also, go here ----> http://www.smbmovie.com/)
“Trust Me, I’m a
Doctor”
As someone who enjoys musical theatre and horror &
science fiction films, it’s no surprise that I’m a fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[Although, I feel like the only person who doesn’t care for
quoting and acting-along that happens whenever it plays. Just once, I’d like to
see RHPS in 35mm with an audience that’s silent and just watching the film]
However, it’s the soundtrack to the film originally
described as neither a “sequel” nor a “prequel,” but an “equal” to the 1975 hit
that I’ve listened to more. Back in Denton, USA, Brad and Janet Majors [Cliff
De Young and Jessica Harper] find themselves trapped inside TV studio in a film
that’s somewhat prescient in predicting how all-consuming television would be
in the lives of Americans. Though none of Richard O’Brien’s songs here are
quite as catchy as “Time Warp,” tunes like “Breaking Out,” “Duel Duet,”
“Lullaby,” and the titular “Shock Treatment” are enjoyable even if you haven’t
seen the film. Shock Treatment goes
off the rails a bit, but it never drags like its predecessor. It also features
a rare live-action appearance from Barry Humphries outside of his Dame Edna
Everidge persona.
“The New Nerds on the
Block Team Up with the Masters!”
This made-for-TV film might as well be subtitled “Revenge of
the Jocks,” as the Adams College of the ‘90s has the nerds of Lambda Lambda
Lambda and Lewis Skolnick [Robert Carradine] basically running the campus while
the Alpha Betas have gotten used to having the short end of the stick. However,
it’s not long before Stan Gable [Ted McGinley] and Orrin Price [Morton Downey
Jr.] decide to return things to their “natural order,” leaving Tri-Lambs new
and old to fight for their right to be nerdy. After the lackluster attempt of Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise
and a truly horrendous “Revenge of the Nerds” TV pilot, I love seeing the
series return to the main themes are staying true to yourself and being
accepting of others. Plus, the flick features this great bit of dialogue: “There’s
no greater friend of the nerd than the American DJ. If we weren’t all nerds
ourselves, we’d be on television.”
“Sit Back. Relax.
Enjoy the Fright.”
A victim of fan-based Internet hype and poor marketing?
Sure, but I find SOAP to be a hilarious self-parody of high-concept action
films. Catchy title no one could possibly forget? Check. Bankable main star surrounded mostly by a bunch of (at the time) relative nobodies playing broad stereotypes? Check. Opening
sequence and title card that appear to be in direct conflict with the tone of
the rest of the film? Check. A doomed uniformed employee hoping nothing goes
wrong during their last on the job? Check. Overly complicated criminal plot?
Check. Unnecessary and/or ridiculous choices for stylistic camera moves and/or
shots? Check (in this case, it’s the snake-vision). Gratuitous nudity and
violence? Check. Signature line of dialogue from our hero? Check. Brand new pop
song over the end credits that positioned to be a hit single? Check. In talking
to director David R. Ellis a couple years ago about the film, he said, “Yeah,
the script was called Snakes on a Plane.
I knew exactly what kind of movie I
was making.”
“KnowhutImean?”
Like a southern response to Paul Reubens’ west coast
creation of Pee-wee Herman, Jim Varney’s Ernest P. Worrell was a similar hit
with ‘80s and ‘90s kids across a variety of media, yet the film vehicles for
the commercial character were often written off as cheap, common-denominator
entertainment. Sure, some of the jokes were corny, there was a lot of slapstick,
and it never made sense why Ernest kept dressing up like his various relatives,
but despite his lack of common sense, Ernest was a relatable good ol’ boy:
always aiming to please and never trying to offend. Though his later
direct-to-video exploits lacked the emotional resonance, humor, and budget that
earlier hits had, Varney still put his all into his performance in hopes that a
child renting one of his videos would be entertained. I’ll forgive you if you
don’t find the man amusing, but if you’re not moved by him singing “Gee I’m
Glad It’s Rainin’” in Ernest Goes to Camp,
then you have no soul.
After Last Season (2009)
“The End of a Season
Means the Beginning of a New One”
Movies like Troll 2 and
The Room are often said to be
so-bad-they’re-good. After Last Season,
on the other hand, is so-bad-it’s-confusing. I don’t love After Last Season, but I find it so interesting and so perplexing
that I like to occasionally show it to people who say they aren’t affected by
bad cinema.
When I showed the film to some first-timers recently, my
friend Tommy Swenson made the point that After
Last Season is almost Brectian in the way it distances viewers and makes
them question “what exactly is a location? What constitutes a prop in a motion
picture?” This is entirely accidental, however. I’ve seen the movie a number of
times and still can’t explain what happens. Two researchers test out some chips
that allow people to view the thoughts of others, while there’s also a
knife-wielding killer (who may be either a ghost or invisible) on the loose.
Oh, and most of the film’s a dream, and the rest of it’s a flashback. Maybe. There’s
an MRI machine made of cardboard, a bedroom doubling for a doctor’s office,
arrows and Microsoft Word documents printed out on computer paper that act as
set dressing, and mostly abstract computer animation that might have been
impressive if it was made by a film school student in the late ‘80s. Though it
runs 93 minutes, After Last Season
feels like it lasts four hours, and throughout most of the film, there’s what
sounds like a gurgling on the soundtrack, as if all the sound was recorded next
to a series of pipes whenever a toilet was flushed. I still can’t figure out
the geography in the room where most of the action takes place. None of the
actors create a character that’s more detailed than “the male who delivers these
lines” or “the female who says these lines.” Not even the title or tagline
makes any sense to me.
I’m convinced the whole movie was some kind of tax dodge or
money laundering scheme. Almost all the listed crew is using a pseudonym or
doesn’t exist. The director was apparently some sort of real estate agent. The
film’s theatrical run was limited to only about four theaters, and afterwards,
the 35mm prints were burned because that was cheaper than shipping the reels
back to the distributor. Yet, the film was submitted to the MPAA, trailers were
posted on Apple’s website, a website was created, and a DVD was made available
on Amazon. I’ll go to my grave not knowing the mystery of After Last Season. If you somehow watch it, you won’t be able to
say you’ve been to the film, but at least you’ll have been through it.
4 comments:
I enjoyed Shock Treatment more than I enjoyed The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Same.
Never been a big RHPS fan.
I too prefer Shock Treatment. We should start a support group.
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