Christopher Brown can be found at @uncoolcat on twitter. He has also made frequent guest appearances on The GGTMC Podcast. He's good people.
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How many times have I pushed films like The Third Man or City of God
to the back-burner in order to watch The Super Ninja or Exciting Dragon?
Not enough I tells ya!
There's something about pure trash cinema, the completely
unadulterated stuff, that cannot be replicated in any other form. Sure,
there's lots of winking at the camera movies that are entertaining, but
they certainly can't hope to compete with the aesthetic of complete,
unhinged lunacy that can be found in the dollar bin of film history.
However, I would be hesitant to call many of these films "bad". Maybe
different. Or how about cinematically challenged? Either way, "so bad
they're good" movies can be a heck of a lot of fun.
But then there's the "they're actually awesome and people
mistakenly think they're bad" movies. Some of these films can be ahead
of their time (Pennies From Heaven, Blade Runner, Exorcist III) and
eventually audiences finally catch up with them, usually after careers
are destroyed. And some are so off the beaten track that the best they
will ever gain are a cult audience. But that's okay too. This list has a
smattering of both. Some can be seen as misunderstood classics and some
are here because of my bad taste. Enjoy!
FREDDY GOT FINGERED (2001)
One of the biggest "fuck yous" to the
formulaic studio comedy, using a ton of their money doing it, and
mocking them in the process, Tom Green's hilarious Freddy Got Fingered
virtually destroyed anyone's career who was unlucky enough to be walking
by the set. Green plays Gord, not so much a man-child as a
manhoneybadgerbaby who dreams of fame and fortune while licking his
friend's exposed broken bone, saving the day by swinging a dead baby
over his head and jacking off more than one member (heh, member) of the
animal kingdom. All this while his father, played to amazing effect by
Rip Torn, visibly disapproves. But what many write off as stupid, is a
vicious parody of what is considered modern entertainment on par with
Monty Python's Meaning of Life's vicious parody of... well, everything.
Gord's wheelchair bound, submissive, rocket scientist love interest who
doesn't want anything in life except to suck his cock is a perfect
example of the lame-o romantic interests in Hollywood films cranked up
to 11. But even without the film being smart, it's still funny as hell.
Just don't watch it with a PETA member. Ha, member.
Apparently Stephen King was inspired to write
his novel Dreamcatcher after looking in the toilet after doing his
business and seeing blood along with his poop. The novel and the movie
both perfectly encapsulate the feeling of life's unpredictability and
ridiculousness. And they're both a hoot and a holler.
What starts out as an atmospheric, moody horror/supernatural tale
surprisingly turns guano insane with the introduction of aliens, a
mentally challenged Donnie Wahlberg, shit weasels and a Story of Ricky
style monster battle. The ensemble cast does a great job portraying the
typical King characters in a untypical King situation, and though the
change of atmosphere is abrupt, the lunacy of the second half is quite
pacy. And what other movie are you going to see characters doing battle
with poop? None!
An entertainment lawyer
decides that if no one wants him to be a Hollywood action star he needs
to take matters into his own hands. He puts up his own money and hires
some out of work B movie actors and goes about making his epic, starring
himself, directed by himself with music performed by himself. Luckily,
this is not the plot, but the story of John DeHart's journey to make his
masterpiece (AKA: his only film) Geteven. And if you think the grammar's bad, just wait until you see the film itself! Satan worshipping judges, shimmy, shimmy slides, Wings Hauser and
William Smith and some amazing wardrobe choices are many of the amazing
elements that give this vanity piece it's awesomeness. And as a fun
game, try and find the spot in the film where DeHart's expression
changes! Bet you can't find it on the first watch! Unmissable. Unless
you miss it.
What's the difference between Clifford and a pit bull? One will tear your heart out, scare your friends and wreck your house. The other one is a dog That's right. Clifford's tagline is a joke. And not a very good one. But don't let that put you off, this is an incredibly funny and bizarre outing. What I feared was going to be a children's film is one of the most unrepentantly mean spirited comedies about some people's hatred of children. Now if this was done with an actual child playing the title character, the film would be horrific, but when that child is played by a full grown Martin Short eerily hamming it up as a ten year old, then who wouldn't follow Charles Grodin in his quest to kill him? Chock full of funny lines, Grodin being driven insane, a dinosaur named Stephan and Dabney Coleman, Clifford is definitely funnier than a pit bull. That's an even worse punchline.
"We've entered the gates of hell" says the
Frank Zappa looking dude when he walks into a somewhat creepy room.
Donald Jackson's fantastically god awful Demon Lover is a barrel of
guffaws, from the inept film making to the vanity project script from
"Christmas Robbins" who went as far as to "accidentally" chop off a
couple fingers at work in order to fund this disasterpiece where he
plays the lead, bad-ass, knife throwing Satan worshipper who lives in a
castle. Watch in awe as Robbins battles wits with the local detective,
gasp in horror as gals get into whip cream fights and stifle your
laughter as Gunnar Hanson shows up to collect a paycheck. Also, do
yourself a favour and watch the great documentary made by the asshole
cameraman called Demon Lover Diary about the making of the film, staying
at the Robbin's household and Ted Nugent.
THE STUPIDS (1996)
It seemed with this John Landis had returned to form! But audiences
stayed away in droves and he went on to make Blues Brothers 2000.
Bummer.
Landis takes the sensibility of a children's book and makes a
completely insane film about a family that really should have died by
their own hands in scene one. Tom Arnold is great as Stanley Stupid, the
idiotic father who puts his family in constant danger. And Christopher
Lee is fantastic as the villainous Mr. Sender! Standout moments are
Arnold's rousing rendition of I'm My Own Grandpa, Arnold's moment of
sanity and when we visit Mr. Sender's evil lair. Great stuff.
Joe Berlinger was doomed before he even put pen to paper on this
one. People had already begun to turn (wrongly) on the original and were
waiting for the sequel to fail. Berlinger took an interesting approach
to the sequel, especially considering he is known as a documentarian. He
makes a creepy, smart, and meta examination of the media while adding
to the Blair Witch mythology and completely foregoing the found footage
approach. Sure there is some below average performances, but seriously,
this is a low budget horror flick. Were people expecting Jean De
Florette? There really is enough good stuff here to elevate it to one of
the better horror films of the aughts, let alone erase it's reputation
as a horrible film.
Mostly forgotten, but this neat little horror film about a
children's show host who murders abusive parents has one great thing
going for it. Tom Basham's amazingly bizarre performance as Mr. Rabbey.
He chews the scenery like it's salt water taffy. Or chocolate cake, his
favourite (if you don't believe me, check out the youtube clip of one of
the most wacky dialogue exchanges in film history). It may not be a
perfect movie, but Basham makes this a must see for fans of offbeat
performances. Oddly enough, Buddy G and Joe Spinell's unfinished
film Maniac 2: Mr. Robbie seems to be essentially a remake of this.
TARKAN VS THE VIKINGS (1971)
The
dazzling tale of Tarkan and his dog..... er... I mean wolf, Kurt. See
Tarkan take on vikings, an octopus that would make Ed Wood proud and
sanity! Barely a dull moment in this violent, colourful comic book based
film. And make sure to pick up the Mondo Macabro Turkish Pop Cinema
disc that also includes the great Deathless Devil.
Creepy
fucking title, huh? Truth be told, it's been a long time since seeing
this one and I barely remember the plot. But the one thing that will
stick in my mind until my dying breath is William Shatner's completely
bonkers performance as Matt Stone. Rarely has overacting reached such
extravagant levels. The movie could be test and tone inter cut with
Shatner doing his thing, and it would still be a must watch. Seriously,
you need to see this now. Heck, I do too come to think of it.
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5 comments:
Ha! Actually considered FGF for mine. Haven't seen it in a while but really like that movie. Also Tarkan is amazing. Great list and more to add to my viewing pile.
I've actually quoted "The Stupids!" I told my new neighbors that someone keeps stealing my garbage when I put it by the curb. Fortunately, they laughed.
Thanks sleestakk! Has your list gone up yet?
And that's hilarious Steve. Always happy to hear I'm not the only one who likes The Stupids.
I attended a fest screening of DEMON LOVER DIARY. Afterwards, DEMON LOVER director Don Jackson held his own sort-of "rebuttal" press conference. The Doc filmmakers didn't show, of course. Jackson's main comment was that the Doc filmmakers left mid-way through the making of the movie and cut stuff together to make it look more F'd up than it really was (like the infamous 'gunshots') which were to cut to make it look like they were running for their lives. Sadly, it turned out to be Jackson's (HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN) last public appearance before his death.
And, IMPULSE is a classic! You haven't really seen Shatner go "over the top" until you've seen this!!
I've never thought that the makers of the doc ever had Jackson's best interests in mind. Why'd they offer to help if they were going to whine, badmouth and make everything harder for the filmmakers. Filmmaking is one of the most collaborative artistic endeavours out there, and when Jackson counted on them, they failed. Still, it's a really fun doc about the making of a no budget horror flick.
A friend of mine got in touch with Jackson via the internet after we watched it and he seemed genuinely touched with how much we loved the movie. We even rein-acted the "You must drink!" scene and I think my friend sent it to him.
And anyone who calls Shatner a ham and hasn't seen Impulse knows not of what they speak. Astounding.
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